Come Dine With Me

I love it. Not just of the overall concept of the show but for the narration from Dave Lamb. As you know, i'm not a big fan of sarcasm as it's the lowest form of wit, so they say, but hey! Anyway... it got me thinking about hosting my own 'Celebrity Come Dine With Me' and who'd be the lucky souls to get the covetted golden invitations.

Now, apart from the grub, what's needed at a successful dinner party are a broad spectrum of guests. Firstly, you need someone who's very funny and can tell good jokes [so that's my role sorted out then, heheheheh]. Guest No.1 would have to be Pineapple Dance Studio's very own Louie Spence. He's like sunshine on a stick, nearly as flamboyant as moi and probably has bum cheeks just as firm ... ahem ??!!





Guest No2 would be Iranian comic Shappi Khorsandi. There's nothing more attractive than a strong, intelligent, confident, empowered, well-cultured woman ... plus she has a grrreat rack.



Guest number 3 would be someone like Lindsay Lohan. An out of control, coked-up [allegedly] Hollywood starlet would mean great entertainment and be able to regale us with tales of glitz, glamour and other dubious excesses. Plus, she'd be a real boon in the kitchen. It would save me the job of doing the washing up as Lindsay is more than qualified to lick the plates clean!!

Ba-dum-tishh