British Is Best ... as always!

Over the last few months it's been proved once again that Great Britain is still the greatest nation on the planet. So much good stuff has happened that I've hardly had time to tend to my newly acquired allotment and Suffolk Colt lawnmower.

 

 





First of all there was Wimbledon. Who can forget the lovely Laura Robson getting knocked-out in the 4th round, which stopped her getting further than any other female Briton for over 29 years. There's something quite attractive about a young woman that can hold 2 tennis balls at once and have highly developed forearms..... Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how Laura progresses. Who knows, maybe 2014 could be the year we finally get our Wimbledon champion.

 

Tenuous link.. Australian born Gary Shearston. 1939 - 2013

Then we have England thrashing those Australian convicts in that Ashes Test... thingy. Now I'm not a man who bothers much with cricket as it's mainly just a bunch of Hooray Henry's and blokes standing around rubbing a ball over their crotches, but anything that puts our inbred little cousins firmly back in their place has to be a good thing.

 

Adding to that lot we also have Chris Froome winning the 100th Tour de Frogs Legs. A mighty achievement in itself, but even more so when you consider that Bradley Wiggins lifted the trophy last year - just before winning gold at OUR Olympics!! The only downside is that Froome and his team mates are sponsored by Tory puppet master Rupert Murdoch.

''Kill all Westerners.... but not before I get my housing benefit, tax credits, job seekers allowance, free healthcare...''

We also had the news that muslim terrorist/illegal immigrant; Michael Adebolajo [pictured above] got his front teeth knocked out whilst in prison. The vermin has ''alleged'' that his attackers were 5 prison guards. If found to be true, I find those events disturbing and quite sad. How on earth this group of burly guards didn't manage to break every bone in his vile body is a complete mystery. Best for everyone if he's sent back to his cell and given a long piece of rope to play with. If he's rubbish at tying knots then there's millions of people out there who would love to help him out.

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Terrorist filth aside, so far the best event of 2013 has to be about 'our' Kate & Wills having their 1st baby - our future King. Yes, the entire country was glued to the telly for many hours as Kate puffed and panted in her private room at St Mary's Hospital, Paddington. Personally, I found the whole thing quite staggering - not because the super lovely couple had their baby, but, if recent census statistics are to be believed it would mean the future King George is one of only a few English babies to be born in the UK during 2013. 

A tale of two halves.. Time for a rant.

Being an experienced man of the world means I do like to get around a bit, and as such, like nothing more than sitting back on the train and watching the world wizz past - just as long as it's in 1st Class mind you. Yes, last week saw yet another posh theatre trip into London, courtesy of British Rail which couldn't of gone any better - apart from the return journey home.

So tell me, why is it that some people just can't sit still or quietly relax for 5 bleedin' minutes? Picture the scene, if you will. Ahem, a half empty carriage in 1st Class, yours truly [that's me btw] takes his seat, reclines seat, places theatre reading material on table for later, leans back and relaxes whilst patiently waiting for the train to move off - bliss!

Then, enter a really annoying guy who looked like he'd got dressed in the dark and plonked himself down with his bags in the seat directly in front of yours truly [that's me btw]. This guy spent the next 5 minutes extracting various items from his Tardis Bag resulting in his side of the table being covered in a vast array of food, beverages, cables, electrical devices and gizmo's.

For the entire journey this guy didn't sit still for one second. If he wasn't eating something he was drinking something from a polystyrene cup -  a cup that never seemed to become empty, or he was frantically tapping away on his computer like he was playing Daley Thompson's Decathlon game, or rummaging in his rucksack, or fiddling on his mobile, or selecting songs on his ipod, or inserting memory sticks here, there and everywhere. Arrrggghh!

This fiasco went on for nearly TWO HOURS. I really do wonder what this country has come to. Whatever happened to the good old days of quiet contemplation? Why do people feel the need to be doing something or always talking to someone? Methinks it's something to do with creating a generation of insecure, emotionally stunted people who need constant reassurance that their life has meaning whilst having their fragile ego's stroked on places like Fakebook, Twitter and blogs. Sort your bloody selves out!

Why do supermarket shoppers insist on putting bananas into carrier bags when they already come pre-wrapped?

 

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