You've never had it so good.

Now as you are all aware, not only am i a man of  impeccable taste and sophistication, but also a man that doesn't like to complain. People seem to complain about anything these days. Have these professional whingers got nothing better to do with their time? So now summer has landed, and so too have the whingers to top all whingers. Yes, you've guessed it, i'm talking about ''British Farmers.'' Are these flat-cap wearing, sh*t-shovellers ever happy? Turn on the news and you'll see a never ending stream of farmers complaining about next-to-nothing. It's the same old Jackanory stories every bloody year.

Not enough rain. 
Too much rain.
Wrong type of rain.
Too hot.
Too cold.
Diesel going up [isn't everybodys].
Supermarkets squeezing their profits....

I ask you. If it's so difficult to scatter a few seeds on the ground and wait for it to grow then why do they bother doing it. With the amount of whining they do, you'd think they'd entered the farming industry out of the goodness of their little hearts. If there's no money in it then why do i constantly see fat farmers swanning about in expensive Range-Rovers?? Well....?

Complainer-itis seems to be spreading faster than i can blog at the moment. If it's not the farmers moaning then it's them there lazy teachers and public sector ''workers'' that have started piping up. These types have been on easy street for decades, bankrolled by a Lie-bour government who drenched the public sector with billions of ££'s on non-jobs and fancy final salary pensions .... all subsidised by the good old taxpayer. Yup, it must be real tough being forced into having 17 weeks holiday a year and being made to ''work'' anything up to 5 long hours per day. Shock horror!! Somebody call the Police! Unions have predicted that it could be the largest strike for generations if selfish ''workers'' throw the toys out of the pram. I say 'sack the lot of em'. Employ Polish teachers for half the cost .... especially if they're really tasty.

But it doesn't end there though. Believe it or not, ANOTHER group of whingers have jumped on the bandwagon .... them women!

For years they've sat around on their backsides watching day-time soaps, gas-bagging on t'front gate and wasting the G.P's time and resources with their '' little foible's.'' Now the Government wants them to wait a few years before they draw a pension and the splitarse's are in uproar. For hundreds of years they've been harping on about equality, now they're going to get it, and they're still not happy. Sheeshh!. If you want my unbiased opinion i think women shouldn't be able to claim a state pension until the age of 80, as they're a bigger drain on resources and live a lot longer than men ... because they have easier lives.

It's at times like these the old joke about married couple springs to mind.


Q. Why do married men usually die before their wives?

A. Because they want to!