Auld Langs ..... Sigh!!!

So you can really tell it's getting towards the end of the year, as around this time you see lots of out of shape, couch potatoes chucking their guts up, red faced and blundering down the street as they plan to be the new Paula Radcliffe.

That's the trouble with people these days. They spend all year gorging on lard pies and cakes then have a heart whilst trying to loose half their body weight in a fortnight. By god, when me and my company were ninja training in the jungles of Borneo we really knew how to be in tune with our bodies and senses. Many a time hand-to-hand combat was fought in total darkness, a man had to be in a total state of awareness and harmony with one's surroundings, or to the uncouthed layman on the street .... ''unagi''

That's the good thing about being a tightfisted Scrooge over Christmas. Zero weight gain! Not just a hat rack my friend, not just a hat rack. Although being totally honest i did throw caution to the wind and by a box of mince pies last week, well, they were on special offer. So you see, even Mr Heckles can splash the cash occasionally. Hey!!... you filthy minded toe-rags, i said 'splash the cash' .... not...!

I know it's hard to believe but, i'm not much of a fan of Christmas or New Years. I think it must stem from my childhood, as the working poor we had to make do with very little. Not like kids today who think they're hard-done-by if they don't get a room full of computer gizmo's and a miniature pony that sh*ts gold sovereigns. When you get to my age it just means another year has passed you by, with a broken heart and a painful death just that little bit closer.



 New Years resolutions are another pain in the derriere. Normally i don't bother as i'm pretty much perfect. But i guess there's always room for improvement, so keeping my nails shorter and refraining from nibbling the ends of my fingers [that part of the human body doesn't have a specific name] when i'm under intolerable pressure. It'll be a tough challenge but being a man of courage and moral fortitude doesn't come easy. I have also decided to see the world a bit more. Admittedly, a war pension doesn't stretch far these days, especially when you consider how much poor people like me have to subsidise the corrupt bankers in Canary Wharf. I reckon if i turn off the central heating, live in just one room of the house and eat cheapy baked beans for breakfast, dinner and tea, i should be able to afford it. Eating all those beans will probably mean i don't need need the heating on anyway, crikey, it'll be like a scene out of Blazing Saddles!!!!!

Moscow [that's in Russia btw] is a place i've longed to visit. The Kremlin and St. Basil's Cathedral are just two of the many fascinating places i'd love to have a nosey around. The only real problem in can envisage is the language barrier. I've already learnt a spot of Russian. ''Neit''... it means ''NO''. Yup, not just a pretty face you know. Unfortunately the phrase; ''bugger off before i hit you with my walking stick'' doesn't translate very well.  Why they can't all speak English is beyond me. How bloomin' rude is that? That's the trouble when you start travelling abroad, them foreigner's, they're such an ignorant bunch of комуністи !!!

Phew !!!!

So many things have been happening in the last few weeks it's getting hard to keep track at times.

I read an article the other day about a drunken youth in Bolivia who jumped into a river and was eaten alive by piranha fish. That story really gave me the willies as i was thinking about treating myself to one of those fish-pedicures down at the local shopping centre!! Looks like those bunions will have to wait a bit longer. here.

As you know, i always like to observe things, people and places, probably because names, numbers and dates just fly straight out of my head. Why, a few years ago i nearly forgot my own birthday, although it'll be a long time before i forget the last one, lol. Just the other day i observed a woman sitting in her posh BMW who was, bold as brass, greedily picking her nose ... and eating it! Dirty woman or is it just a BMW driver thing? It amazes me how drivers think they're invisible when sitting behind the wheel? 

As you know, i'm not a big fan of politicians. If i had my way they'd all be pinned to the front of a 4x4, but i guess i'm just a big softie. So the events of late have given me some cause to re-evaluate things. Seeing that Tory scumbag Cameron stick two fingers up and saying a big fat NO to the 'white-flag' brigade in Europe makes me proud to be British. Those dimwitts on the continent already have too much say in how this country is run, mainly thanks to spineless Blair and Brown. Europe has gone tits-up so why do we want them controlling our taxes, spending ..... and debts.... that the greedy thieves in London created.... leaving the weak and vulnerable to repay, as always.

World leaders are currently jumping up and down about nasty Iroonis developing nuclear power. Tighter and tighter sanctions are being imposed with foreign embassys being closed down and flags being burned in the street. Ooh scarey!! Well if leaders want Iran to be brought to its knees within the next few months then all they have to do is convince Mr Armadinejad to join the single currency. That should about do it.