Monday, 20 August 2012

''Amazing'' !!!

... I must of heard that particular word used a million times this past couple o' weeks. Overkill you might be thinking? but NO! Not when you use it to describe our 2012 Olympic Games. An Olympic Games that have been universally hailed as the best games in the history of the universe .... EVER !!!


'''And it burns, burns, burns, the rings of fire, the rings of fire''


Now even though you might all consider me a bit of an optimist -  I had my misgivings at the start of the opening ceremony, but once those tall chimneys shot out of the ground I was well and truly hooked. My God, exactly how deep is the basement in that stadium. It's no wonder the total bill to the taxpayer came to £9 billion. Apparently, 2016 hosts; Rio, have decided to scrap their ceremonies because there's no way they can compete against us Brits.



As always, our real athletes did us proud - and as always our £100k a week, pampered, lazy arsed, foul mouthed, egotistical, womanising footballers couldn't handle the pressure and bailed-out when it got too much. Contrast them against lovely young 'Team GB' poster girl; Jessica Ennis, who blitzed her fellow competitors in the Heptathlon despite months of media pressure and hype.




With over two weeks worth of top class sport to watch I'm afraid even leering at Countdown statistician Rachel Riley had to take a backseat. So many great moments made it compulsive viewing. Mo Farrah and his 'mobot', Nicola Adams boxing her way to victory, Chad's dad at the pool, Tom Daley claiming a bronze in the diving, and Usain Bolt proclaiming himself to be a 'living legend.' Now they do say that self praise is no recommendation, but for him, it's true. Why I almost started filling up when I saw anti-English tennis player Andy Murray win gold at Wimbledon and wrap himself in the Union Flag. I guess it's a starting point on his long, long road to rehabilitation and forgiveness after stabbing us all in the back.

    



Two of the funniest moments during the games had to be the Queen pretending to parachute out of the helicopter during the opening ceremony and the other was officials who managed to miss seeing a hammer thrown by the strangely attractive German athlete; Betty Heidler, who as you would expect is built like a brick sh*t-house. As previously mentioned above -  Jess Ennis was under a whole mountain of pressure to perform in her event, but it must of been small fry in comparison to the pressure that officials must of been feeling when a rather annoyed looking Betty loomed into view!  




Luckily it was all quickly smoothed over and the man at the table wasn't grabbed by the ankles and slung over the stadium and into the local canal. 

Yes, our athletes certainly did us proud coming 3rd in the medals table, making it our most successful games in the modern era. In fact if you consider how many people legally live in the UK [60m] to somewhere like China [1.3b] then 'technically' with medals-per-head-of-population we could of won around 1300 medals.

I read somewhere that Gordon Brown almost became sexually aroused thinking about all those gold medals Team GB had won, until he realised that HE only sells gold when the price is at an historical all-time low. Just another good reason why we're over a trillion quid in debt. 

And talking of debt ... and repaying it - The money-grabbing Tories have released the names and photo's [here] of 20 people wanted for ripping off the tax man to the tune of £756 million. Considering that Vodaphone ripped-off the taxpayer for £3 billion and that 'Sir' Phillip Green pays himself just £50k per year and transfered billions worth of assets into his Monaco based wifes' name to avoid paying UK tax - you'd think they'd be right at the top of the list - but No. I guess paying money into the Tory Party coffers guarantees you immunity from prosecution.

Now that is ''amazing'' !!!


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