The Peasants Are 'Revolting' !!

Well. Don't say i didn't tell you so .... but i told you so. Didn't i say a mass riot was on the cards. Yep!  That's because 99.9% of everything i say is always correct. It's called the voice of experience coupled with the accurate powers of observation [see my strapline above].

It's been on the cards since Christmas. Social unrest has spread throughout the western world, places like Algeria, Syria, Israel, Greece are just a few. Thinking that it would never happen in the UK is just pure folly. The only thing that surprised my good self about our own riots was the fake reason for it's inception.

Apparently some bloke in Tottingham got 'plugged' by the Five-0 so local thieves thought this would be a great time to go a looting down at their local JJB Sports. Such class! Now obviously i have [some] sympathy for the family of the dude that was pumped full of lead, but in the cold light of day it was probably all for the best. Lets face facts here, anyone who's dumb enough to carry a loaded handgun in public and then to dis-obey direct instructions from a team of armed response officers is probably better off making their contribution to society in other ways, like, perhaps being sprinkled over a bed of daffodils? It seems glaringly obvious that the best part of 'wannabe gangster' Mark Duggan ran down crack of his mothers arse and made a stain on the bed. Yeah i know, i nicked that line from Full Metal Jacket, but i think it's fitting all the same, don't you?

It always makes me laugh [in disgust] when i hear all the lame excuses trotted out by these Ferrel yoofs and community do-gooders. On the telly i heard one [could of been female, it's hard to tell these days] looting Kappa-Slappa from ' Larndan' say: ''am gerrin back some of me taxis'' which was a strange thing to say as she appeared to be the kind of benefit sponging scumbag that's never worked a day in her useless life, thus avoiding ever paying tax to start with. Excuses. Excuses. Social inequality, daddy in prison, lack of respect from elders, lack of jobs, yadda, yadda, yadda are a few more pitiful excuses used. But lets face it, who the hell would want to employ a tool that would go out robbing/ looting/committing arson and then be thick enough to post his own picture on the t'interweb showing off his swag? I doubt if it'll be long before the police feel his collar and hopefully a proper jail sentence will follow ... in a shared cell with a hairy guy called Big Leon who will take great pleasure feeling his collar once more .......... whilst splitting open his chocolate starfish during lights out!

[I hope the yellow tubs contain Vaseline, you're gonna need pots of the stuff. hhahah..]


I think the real reasons behind these riots can be put firmly at the door of Tony Blair and Simon Cowell. It's like this:

As soon as Tony Blair got into power he did nothing but throw money at lay-abouts and dole scroungers. He made the welfare state a way of life for millions when it should of only been a stop-gap until these people found jobs. Benefits were used to appease the underclasses, which is Okay when there's money in the pot to pay for it, but as we all know, the cupboard is bare, so the sh*t is now hitting the fan. Blair signed up to the Human Rights Act thus creating generations of delinquents who are more than happy to spout the phrase ''you can't touch me, i know my human rights'', as they're being arrested for mugging an old lady in the street. Blair dis empowered the Police and parents. Blair pandered to the PC brigade. He sucked-up to criminals. He jailed homeowners for defending their own property whilst giving [taxpayer funded] legal aid to hard done by crims. Anyone remember Norfolk farmer; Tony Martin?

Then there's that Simon Cowell. A man who's single handedly dumbed down the IQ of an entire nation thru his vile TV show/circus. He's spawned generations of spoilt, mealy mouthed rats who walk around,arse hanging out the back of their trousers, chip on shoulder, even though most, if not all, aren't even talented enough to flip burgers in a fast food restaurant slop house. We now see it acted out on the streets of the capital. Youngsters who have no boundaries or self respect for anything, looting shops because they want stuff, and they want it now, because the world owes them a living. Not! Whatever happened to working hard to get the things in life that you want. Whatever happened to getting better educated in order to get a better job, to buy nicer things, to live in a nicer home or neighbourhood instead of stealing/holding out the begging bowl or just being a complete arse. It seems people today want everything via the X Factor route, just laid out on a plate, zero effort, hook or by crook, sod everyone else.

ROGUES GALLERY.

POLICE SHOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE TRACKING DOWN THESE LOOTERS AS THEY ALL HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

NO, IT'S NOT THEIR POOR FASHION SENSE OR DAFT HAIRSTYLES.

 IT'S COS' THEY ARE UGLY BUGGERS!!

Being an experienced man of the world i know exactly how to deal with miscreants like those above. It quite simple, and goes a little something like this....

1. Scrap the Human Rights Act [aka - criminals charter].

2. Jail anyone using the facebook/ twitter/ myface to incite disorder on the streets [in my book, people who use these types of social media should be jailed anyway]

3. Jail anyone causing trouble on the streets, whether looting or antagonising the Police. [it doesn't matter about prison over crowding.10 to a cell is OK, just make them hot bunk]  

4. Jail anyone with ginger hair [it's my list, i can jail who i want] 

5. Stop ALL benefits to these criminals. I bet most have never worked a day in their lives. If they're still in some sort of education, kick them out and jail them. Why should my taxes be wasted on such vermin?

6. Anyone convicted of causing trouble should automatically be served an eviction notice on their rented/subsidised homes, even if they are not the tenancy holder. This might make parents wake up and take responsibility for their vile and disgusting offspring.

7. Let the Police - Police. Rubber bullets, water cannon, stun grenades, CS gas, baton charges the lot. Maybe even playing Leona Lewis records over a P.A system. On second thoughts scrap the Leona lewis thing. Not even someone as sadistic as Mr Heckles could be that heartless! 

8. Send in Chuck Norris!

9. Send in chuck Norris!

10. Send in Chuck Norris!