Books, Bolshoi and Bulging Boxes.

It seems to be getting colder and colder of late. Being on a meagre state pension whilst trying to save for my holidays is hard work [more on that subject a bit later]. As i've mentioned previously, the central heating has been turned off in order to save a few vital pennies. And yes, the cupboards have been fully stocked with baked beans!! This now means that instead of spending my evenings sitting in my favourite armchair, hot milk in hand whilst watching Celebrity Big Brother - it's an early night with my electric blanket and a good book that's calling me.

Being someone of high inteligence my thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. So much so that i've easily been going through one book per month! Yeah i know, that's some going, isn't it?

I do love a good book. I hate fiction with a passion, but love facts. Autobiographies are what sets my literary mind juices flowing. There's nothing more interesting than reading about someone who's achieved great things or been at the centre of major events. Although it has to be said that not all biogs are worth the paper they're printed on. Take slapper glamour girl katie Price, a slip of a girl who has 'written' 3 biographies already, yet Albert Einstein has none! Food for thought methinks... hmmm!

One of my favourite books has been about a ginger comedian called Frankie Boyle. Very insightful, straight to the point and crammed full of put-downs, one-liners and witty humour. Why, i could of almost written the book myself, hehheh. Now, who was it who said, ''self praise is no recommendation''..????

I've recently started reading a new book by some U.S rock band called The Motley Crew, which is turning into something of an eye opener. Drugged up, over-sexed rock bands aren't my usual bag, but the mere fact these young boys have lived life on the edge of destruction is of great interest to an ex-services man like myself. I too lived life on the edge whilst fighting deep in the jungles of Borneo. Although i hasten to add, i spent my time in an altogether different kind of bush!!



Unusually for moi, i did manage to finish a fiction book before starting my Motley Crew biog the other day. White Tiger is a book about a young boy struggling to get out his poverty stricken village in India and make some serious rupee's. A bit of a slow starter but very insightful and interesting book nonetheless. I'm unsure as to what surprised me the most. The fact i managed to read the entire book and enjoy it, or the fact i somehow managed to upload the photo, from my camera and onto my blog! Enshallah ... Enshallah.

Following on from the top of the page: As an ex-services man, i do like to plan things with military precision, well ahead of time, nothing left to chance, that's how they built The British Empire don't you know. Like my schedule for my meticulously researched and eagerly anticipated trip to Moscow. It's a place renowned for many great things like; Red Square, St Basils, GUM [don't ask ??], Lenin's body [don't ask??] and more guilded palace's than you can shake an old man's walking stick at.

Ballet and Opera are a massive draw in Moscow with many, many fine theatre's dotted around the centre of the city. And as a man of impeccable taste and sophistication i've decided to visit a couple of shows here in the U.K before setting off on my travels, just to lubricate my creative juices in readiness. In the past i've been lucky enough to see a few of these types of shows and have found them to be extremely entertaining -  even if they do contain young chaps leaping around flashing their lunch boxes for all to see...!

So anyway... at Christmas just gone, as a present to myself [well, no-one else was going to buy me anything] i bought some of the above mentioned tickets. Swan Lake and Romeo & Juliet to be precise. I don't get out much these days, what with the dodgy knee's and shrapnell on the move and stuff. It'll dent my finances a little, but if i don't spend it on me, the government will only steal it. I've made it my destiny to spend what i've got now, and die a pauper later.

What would be really nice would be to visit the home of ballet; The Bolshoi Theatre [Bolshoi means 'grande' in russian btw]. Now newly restored to the tune of $700 million it has to be mecca of Ballet, easily beating 'La Scala' in Italy [maybe i'll visit that one next year, if i live that long, lol]. One thing is for sure, with the temperatures in Moscow dropping below -30 i doubt there'll be many bulging lunch boxes on display!!

  

Tesco: Every Little Helps!

When you get to my age there's very little in life that makes you laugh, not surprising when death is just a sneeze away, but, the other day, laugh i did. Tesco announced that it's Christmas profits were well down on previous years. FYI, Tesco and more notably the people who shop in it can only be described as 'scum-of-the-earth'. You know, the types of lower class people who shop in their pyjamas and buy 30 loaves of bread, gallons of milk and a lorry load of nappies, just because a microscopic dusting of snow has been predicted next month
.

To an intelligent man such as myself, one who's been trained in pshycological warfare as well as hand-to-hand-combat it comes as no surprise Tesco's profits were down. When you have people like; fuzzy faced TV chef, Anthony Womble Thompson stealing all the stock!!!

It beggars belief that a man who is worth millions can find the justification for stealing food. Why didn't he steal it from his own restaurants??  

I'm not sure what i find more disgusting.. apart from the stupid beard... is it the fact that a millionaire can happily steal, whilst hard pressed families struggle to get-by in a low wage/high taxation economy OR because during the summer riots a person was given a lengthy stretch in Butlins  jail for nicking a bottle of mineral water, especially when you consider that serial shoplifter Thompson walked away from his crimes scot-free and avoided a similar prison sentence... probably on the grounds he's got shed loads of cash. One rule for the rich.....?

That's the thing with most rich people, they're rich for a reason. Whether it's because they're good at lying, good at stealing or just plain and simply- being tight bstards. Rattle a collection tin infront of a wealthy person and they'll say they're either too skint or too busy to donate. Do the same thing with a poor person and they'll usually dig around and find some loose change somewhere. It doesn't take a science degree to realise that rich people have no morals regardless of whether they're a Canary Wharf con-merchant or a bloated TV chef.   

The other day, whilst waiting patiently at the chiropodists to get my bunions sorted i heard a great line from a chap called Terry Christian who was on 'The Wright Stuff',  he said: ''the only thing that money can't buy is poverty.'' How true... how very true. But maybe honesty, dignity and morals should also be added to the list?

I'm so moneysupermarket, i don't even know it!

Pff... where do i start? That young Paul Daniels chappy has been in the wars recently. Whilst doing a spot of DIY he cut off one of his fingers!! Luckily for him it wasn't his index finger or the lovely Debbie MaGoo might have stern words for the toupee'd magician. It not all bad news though, Paul has now decided to incorporate the sliding thumb trick into his new magic show. I know you'll like it, not a lot ....!

I always remember some journo asking Debbie the now famous question of: ''so tell me, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?''  heheheh ... Many a true word spoken in jest.

This year seems to be flying by already. Unusually for me i sense it's going to be a grrreat year, if i live long enough to see it out, i can almost feel it in my tender loins..!! My chakras are fully aligned. Last week i finally managed to get my hemorrhoid's sorted out. Phew! that was a weight off my mind - quite literally. Those little buggers were really causing me some aggravation over Christmas. At one point they were hanging so low i seriously thought about starting up my very own vineyard...!

My pre-New Year resolutions, which were to keep fingers un-nibbled, trying to be the bigger/better person during disagreements and global travel are all coming along nicely. What i didn't realise is how much hardwork goes into planning a vacation. I almost need a holiday before i take my original holiday. One things for sure, i won't be going on any European Cruise's for the foreseeable future. Them greasy foreign sailors, sheeesh kebab, is it any wonder Admiral Nelson managed to destroy an entire fleet of battleships with HMS Victory. Rule Britannia, that's wot i say!