Observations of a real-life Mr.Heckles: Horses for Courses and Racists!!!

It's been a couple of weeks now, and the horse meat scandal is still 'galloping' along nicely. If you ask me, this story will 'run and run'. You could says it's got 'legs'. That's just one of the problems with people these days - too bloody lazy to do a spot of home cooking, preferring to buy pre-packaged ready meals. In my day, women knew how to rustle up a good hearty meal for thrupence - and if they didn't they got a thick ear!! These days them women are too busy sitting at bingo waving their bingo-wings and scoffing rubbish at McDowell's. That's the problem with all these women's lib types. Some might say my views are old fashioned and that I'm 'flogging' a dead horse or just 'nag'-ging, but I wouldn't want to be in their 'horse-shoes' when it all backfires.

Sources say the meat scandal has hit other products too. Apparently, traces of Zebra have been found in various pies. Food Standards bosses seem to think it's something to do with the barcodes on the packaging! Even the pub trade has been hit, with traces of Red Rum found in some optics!... sorry, I'll stop 'horseing around'!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Now then, that story reminded me of a recent event - going from horses to people who eat like horses, ie: Americans! It's been just over a month since my bucket trip to New York and whilst I was there the funniest thing happened - something that could only happen in America. After a night-out at the theatre, I flicked on the local TV news only to see a report about a woman who fell through the pavement. At first I thought they were joking, until her weight was estimated at around 400Ibs!! So heavy they reckoned the fat on her body saved her from serious injury - like a big cushion. Although it still took the Fire Brigade many hours and a small crane got get her out. Only in America folks!

Yes, since you asked, my now annual, New Year Saga trip to the Big Apple was a major success - it's all in the planning don't ya know. That's one of the bonuses of being an ex-services man - military style planning! As previously mentioned before, the idea was to get there just as the snow was starting to fall, but sometimes the best laid plans don't come to fruition and I just got the cold snap instead. That said, it was a fabulous place to spend a week or so. My old war wound meant the subway was utilised to the full whilst visiting all the major sights with a grand total of 5 shows attended. At one particular show, called Avenue Q, I even got 'mauled' by a puppet. Now luckily for him I've got a superb sense of humour otherwise my Attorney would of taken that goddam stinking son of a bitch [yes, him there, in the grey t-shirt] to the cleaners. pah!

With all the hustle and bustle new York has to offer means it's nice to do a spot of relaxing to re-charge the old batteries, which is where Central Park comes in handy. After having a gawp at John Lennon's memorial I spent a fabulous couple of hours sitting on a comfy seat overlooking the Ice Rink and doing at spot of reading. I'd taken with me probably the best book I've read so far in 2013 called 'Between The Assasinations' by Aravind Adiga. A truly great book with some fascinating stories of hardship, woven together by a genius of a writer.

After 8 days I was just about ready to come back to Blighty - as there's no place like home. Another trip to NY is planned for Jan 2014, but in order to stick to my resolutions from New Years 2012 I'll have to visit one place I've never been to first! St Petersburg and the Mariinski is high on the list as it got cancelled due to having an operation to get my hemorrhoids tied up. Other new destinations in the offing are: Paris, King Kong, Delhi or Mumbai. Unfortunately, all these places have one major problem - too many bloody foreigners.