It's not often i 'cut-lose' and have a good olde rant, until now!
The new [no principles] ConDemn Government has come up with the idea of letting people have a say on which laws should be repealed. A good idea in theory, like most things politicians come up with no doubt. Err ... Well hows about getting rid of the law that says convicts can sue the government/taxpayer when refused Sky+ in their cells. Maybe it's the politicians that need changing not the law. Personally, I reckon we need more rules and regulations, such as...
1.Muffin tops. Since when have rolls of fat spilling out over a pair of kecks been attractive? Offenders should be given a full length mirror, a life-time restraining order from McDougal's and also be made to sign-on at a local police station twice a week to have their body mass index checked.
2.Pajama wearing shoppers. When, if ever, did it become acceptable to wander around a supermarket wearing discharge stained nightwear and slippers? Do these losers have any pride or self-respect? I've even seen these retards with my own eyes. They normally fall into a specific category... usually female...30 to 40....out of shape...slummy mummy types. Bearing in mind that most of their clothing is made in China, thus, highly flammable, i think a new law should be introduced, where, if spotted they should automatically be set on fire. 99% burns would be a big fashion improvement.
3.Women drivers. Now i'm all for equality and stuff but whoever decided to let women hold a drivers licence needs to be disemboweled with a pair of rusty garden shears. They drive too slow, clog up the roads, have no idea why box junctions have yellow hatch markings and even though they're driving a car the size of a dodgem they still can't squeeze through gaps wide enough to accommodate an aircraft carrier.
4.Child benefits. Scrap the lot. Far too many people these days poke out kids [benefit tokens] without a care in the world regarding the means to pay for them. Having kids is a privilege, not a right. If you want kids, fine, but don't expect others to feed and clothe them for you. The sooner these Jeremy Kyle rejects realise that having kids means they'll have to get off their arse's and find a job to pay for little Romeo's new bandanna and butterfly knife- the better.
5.Tramp stamps. Make them illegal. When did scarring yourself for life become cool? As a small child, if i drew on myself with a biro, i'd get my legs slapped. It would seem this form of punishment should be introduced to others lower down the social/mental food chain. True story....[ahem]....Many, many years ago a colleague came into work with a face on him like a smacked arse because his new 'squeeze' had gotten a tattoo. We gave him a bit of a ribbing when he said, ''i don't want to be going out with some bird with a tattoo, it'll be like i'm shagging a bloke.'' hhahaha.
6.Cheryl Cole. Send her water boarding at Guantanamo Bay. God only knows why the newspapers [hmm, can you call 'The Sun' a newspaper?] and WAG wannabe's are so infatuated with this osteoporosis bound non-entity. In recent days the press have been clogging up the front pages with sensationalist stories/crap of Cole being at deaths door after contracting malaria [probably just a publicity stunt]. I feel sorry for the mosquito that had the misfortune to bite her, or did she bite the mosquito? Apparently the side effects of malaria are many, they include; kidney failure, seizures, mental confusion, coma and even death. So pretty much the same symptoms as sitting through a Girls Aloud concert then!!
Rant over... [for now. heheh]
The new [no principles] ConDemn Government has come up with the idea of letting people have a say on which laws should be repealed. A good idea in theory, like most things politicians come up with no doubt. Err ... Well hows about getting rid of the law that says convicts can sue the government/taxpayer when refused Sky+ in their cells. Maybe it's the politicians that need changing not the law. Personally, I reckon we need more rules and regulations, such as...
1.Muffin tops. Since when have rolls of fat spilling out over a pair of kecks been attractive? Offenders should be given a full length mirror, a life-time restraining order from McDougal's and also be made to sign-on at a local police station twice a week to have their body mass index checked.
2.Pajama wearing shoppers. When, if ever, did it become acceptable to wander around a supermarket wearing discharge stained nightwear and slippers? Do these losers have any pride or self-respect? I've even seen these retards with my own eyes. They normally fall into a specific category... usually female...30 to 40....out of shape...slummy mummy types. Bearing in mind that most of their clothing is made in China, thus, highly flammable, i think a new law should be introduced, where, if spotted they should automatically be set on fire. 99% burns would be a big fashion improvement.
3.Women drivers. Now i'm all for equality and stuff but whoever decided to let women hold a drivers licence needs to be disemboweled with a pair of rusty garden shears. They drive too slow, clog up the roads, have no idea why box junctions have yellow hatch markings and even though they're driving a car the size of a dodgem they still can't squeeze through gaps wide enough to accommodate an aircraft carrier.
4.Child benefits. Scrap the lot. Far too many people these days poke out kids [benefit tokens] without a care in the world regarding the means to pay for them. Having kids is a privilege, not a right. If you want kids, fine, but don't expect others to feed and clothe them for you. The sooner these Jeremy Kyle rejects realise that having kids means they'll have to get off their arse's and find a job to pay for little Romeo's new bandanna and butterfly knife- the better.
5.Tramp stamps. Make them illegal. When did scarring yourself for life become cool? As a small child, if i drew on myself with a biro, i'd get my legs slapped. It would seem this form of punishment should be introduced to others lower down the social/mental food chain. True story....[ahem]....Many, many years ago a colleague came into work with a face on him like a smacked arse because his new 'squeeze' had gotten a tattoo. We gave him a bit of a ribbing when he said, ''i don't want to be going out with some bird with a tattoo, it'll be like i'm shagging a bloke.'' hhahaha.
6.Cheryl Cole. Send her water boarding at Guantanamo Bay. God only knows why the newspapers [hmm, can you call 'The Sun' a newspaper?] and WAG wannabe's are so infatuated with this osteoporosis bound non-entity. In recent days the press have been clogging up the front pages with sensationalist stories/crap of Cole being at deaths door after contracting malaria [probably just a publicity stunt]. I feel sorry for the mosquito that had the misfortune to bite her, or did she bite the mosquito? Apparently the side effects of malaria are many, they include; kidney failure, seizures, mental confusion, coma and even death. So pretty much the same symptoms as sitting through a Girls Aloud concert then!!
Rant over... [for now. heheh]
