Sun, sea and stupid people.

People can be so thick.

I'm not talking about [moving in] 2+2 or the capital of Monaco and stuff, but the real basics of life, ie: common sense. Some people have it, most don't. Some of the thickest people i've ever met are those with the longest list of qualifications. Years and years spent dodging 'real graft' by hiding out at College and Uni [taxpayer funded] only to end up working in Costa Coffee or Nando's.



Anyway, i digress. It would seem that whenever the sun comes out and people are near water, it has the side- effect of shrinking their brains. Like the stupid woman called Anna Baboy,29, who thought that on one of the hottest days of the year she'd have a can of lager [classy], do a spot of sunbathing on Brighton beach .... along with her 5 month old baby called.... er... Cosmo!!! Needless to say the baby suffered 40% burns. I can't decide whether Social Services should prosecute this excuse of a woman for neglect or for stigmatising a child with the name 'Cosmo.' Maybe it should be both? Maybe she should be sterilised via the rusty coat hanger method? One things for sure, with a mother like that i doubt if the kid will ever amount to anything in life, the odds just don't look good.

Yep, it really makes me wonder how people so stupid can actually make it through life sometimes. Cripes! only the other week i read another story about a chap who got pished as a fart and decided it to cool off by going for a swim. He cooled off alright... in the chiller at the local morgue. Add this to all the millions of idiots [usually at Skegness] that get swept miles out to sea on inflatable airbeds and innertubes. I'm sure the lifeboat chaps have better things to do than spend all day fishing out those 'tubes'. Instead of launching a lifeboat, maybe a helicopter gunship would be more beneficial and cost-effective. Use the fools for target practice, it'll be the only time they serve any real purpose in life.

Although it has to be said, those examples come way down on the ''Richter Scale of Idiots'' when compared to the fool in the clip below who thought it would be a good idea to defy onlookers by standing on the roof of a train .... and grab the overhead powerlines. What a bright spark !!!

For some people there is no hope.

proper music...

... not like this modern wrap music rubbish... sheeesh!!!

I've got the horn !?!!

No, not that kind of horn! You have a filthy mind. Besides, it's along time since there was any movement in that area i'll have you know, ahem. I'm of course talking about those damned vuvuzelas at the World Cup. As you know, i'm not the type of chap to moan about anything, but what kind of blithering idiot thought thousands of Africans blowing cheap plastic horns would be a good idea? Why, Nobby Stiles would be turning in his grave if he could see whats happened to our ''beautiful game.''

A global event turned into a farce i reckon. Fans and pundits spending more time talking about vuvu's than they do about football [not soccer]. For once in my life i wish i was a Scotchman. Yes.... i realise that in order to do that i'd have to; [a] wear a string vest [b] become an alcoholic racist [c] adopt the Proclaimers song '500 miles' as my national anthem, but at least then i wouldn't have a problem with these horns because Scotts never watch any World Cups games, primarily because they never participate in it. lol.

Anyway... i've now found a nifty way of overcoming the irritating drone of the vuvuzelas. Everytime the football starts i get out the vacuum cleaner and get busy. It drowns out the noise a treat and my carpets have never been so clean. The Shake 'n' Vac people are making some serious cash out of me this summer. At least when the football season starts in England we won't have to put up with that infernal racket. Although i did hear that some worried footy fans had read an article about the Nottingham Forest club shop buying 10,000 for next season. Such was the uproar that chairman Nigel Doughty had to issue a statement saying the entire story was pie in the sky as Forest don't even have 10,000 fans.

This country has officially gone to the dogs !!!

It really makes you wonder what this once fine country is coming to when a no-mark waster like Cheryl Cole/Tweedy can get an award for..... wait for it ...... ''Woman of The year.'' >insert belly laugh here<

One can only guess as to what the selection criteria was.

Maybe candidates were chosen for:

1. Who has the most orange face?

2. The worst weight problem?

3.Who is the vainest and most shallow?

4. Who wears thousands of ££'s worth of extensions whilst promoting hair care products?

5. Who has teeth so fake they look like they were purchased from B&Q?

6. Who got the worst conviction for launching a drunken attack on an innocent female toilet attendant?

7. Who married a cheating black footballer to save her image and avoid be branded a racist thug [see No.6].

Yep. That's one hell of an impressive CV for someone so thin and talentless.

Is it any wonder that impressionable young girls who look up to these vacuous non-entities grow up with so many issues regarding weight and poor self image? Oscar Wilde was once quoted as saying; ''We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." I guess we all know which way Tweedy is facing.

proper music....

....not like the rubbish they trot out nowadays.... pffffff