Nominations are flooding in...

... for the most prestigious awards ceremony of 2010. Yes, it's nearly time for the 'Cock Of The year Award'. This year has seen an veritable avalanche of shite-hawks and scumbags. Thieving politicians, deluded micro celebs and Joe Public non-entities have been pulling out all the stops to prove their worthiness of such a coveted award. In no particular order, the front runners include...


Cheryl [the convicted drunken thug] Cole.
Nick [sells his own mother to get into power] Clogg.
Gordon [who says the Scots don't have a sense of humour] Brown.
Colleen [i've got an annoying accent and husband] Rooney.
John [i sleep with my team-mates missus, and get her pregnant] Terry.

Other contenders are:

Serial fainter Gillian Mckeith, that annoying bloke from Ryan Air, Katie Price and anyone who had the brass neck to appear on the pretentious clap-trap docu-soap 'The Only Way Is Essex.'  Stay tuned for the results!

This country has officially gone to the dogs !!!

It really makes you wonder what this once fine country is coming to when a no-mark waster like Cheryl Cole/Tweedy can get an award for..... wait for it ...... ''Woman of The year.'' >insert belly laugh here<

One can only guess as to what the selection criteria was.

Maybe candidates were chosen for:

1. Who has the most orange face?

2. The worst weight problem?

3.Who is the vainest and most shallow?

4. Who wears thousands of ££'s worth of extensions whilst promoting hair care products?

5. Who has teeth so fake they look like they were purchased from B&Q?

6. Who got the worst conviction for launching a drunken attack on an innocent female toilet attendant?

7. Who married a cheating black footballer to save her image and avoid be branded a racist thug [see No.6].

Yep. That's one hell of an impressive CV for someone so thin and talentless.

Is it any wonder that impressionable young girls who look up to these vacuous non-entities grow up with so many issues regarding weight and poor self image? Oscar Wilde was once quoted as saying; ''We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." I guess we all know which way Tweedy is facing.