Sexy Grannies And MP's Who Take The Biscuit.

It would seem that British politicians still have little or no will-power when it comes to leaching off the public purse.

The rather large breasted Baroness Warsi has now been accused of fiddling her housing expenses. She calls it, ''an oversight'', but we all know that's just politician speak for; ''oh sht, i've been caught stealing, i'll quickly put it back and we'll forget all about it''.

Anyone else would get the book thrown at them, she'll probably get a promotion and new ministerial car. Yes, in 2012 the Westminster Gravy Train is still working at full throttle.

It's been said the only person ever to enter the Houses of Parliament with honourable intentions was Guy Fawkes. How true. toot! toot!

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Saturday night was Eurovision Night. And like the other 148 million people, i too tuned in to watch - with a chicken curry from the local Chinese takeaway perched on my lap! Being an ex-services man i was obviously rooting for the young lad Engelbert Humperdunk, but also keeping an eye on those sexy little grannies from Russia. Buranovskiye Babushki were so good, they were able to perform their song AND bake some biscuit's at the same time. Now they are what i call 'real women.'   

For me, it's been a hectic week or two. Maybe i should start calling myself Hectic Heckles instead of Herbert?  It's only been a few days since returning from my trip to Moscow, or 'Mockba', as us locals might say. It was blisteringly hot whilst there, which meant me stripping down to my socks/sandals and placing an old knotted hanky on the head.

You'll be pleased to know that all the main sights were covered, even for an old man with a war wound. The only problem i found was the 5* hotel was so luxurious i didn't want to leave it and go sightseeing. It was VERY nice. Piano being played in the bar, 24hr room service, spa and even a little chocolate placed on the bedside table upon a weary guests' return in the evening!!! 

The Bolshoi.

The plan was to spend an evening of culture and refinement at the world famous Bolshoi Theatre, but this didn't happen. No, ........ i spent two evenings of culture and refinement at The Bolshoi. And bloody nice it was too! I also managed a trip to another theatre just up the street to see a show. And that too was a grande affair.

The Mariinsky.

The only problem is -  now i'm two minds whether to go back again or visit St Petersburg and the equally world famous Mariinsky Theatre?? It all comes at a price though. Maybe i'll just fiddle my housing/disability benefit and pension? If i get caught out i can just say it was ''an oversight''. It seems to work for everyone else.