Kicking The Bucket - Metaphorically And Quite Literally!

I
It's been a funny month or so for famous person deaths. First of all the lovely Donna Summer passed away from lung cancer at the spritely age of 63. Shortly followed by disco legend Robin Gibb who died of cancer complications at the age of 62. Then only t'uther week Brian Hibbard, the lead singer of 80's pop harmony group The Flying Pickets dies from prostate cancer aged 65.

It's always a shame when people that are so well-liked and talented pass away. Even more so when you consider the current crop of karaoke rejects that seem to come and go like a reoccuring case of hemorrhoids!! Still, i guess it's not all bad news.  Alex Salmons number one fan; Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi finally took the hint, curled up and died at his home in Tripoli. I reckon if ever there was a reason why ''You Should be Dancin,'' - that must be it.

I taught the boy everything he knows!

It just goes to show you never know when your number is up and those Pearly Gates are swinging open. All the more reason to make sure that bucket list gets a damn good kicking whenever possible.

Even as someone in their twilight years my own bucket has taken a few hits recently. Global travel, my trip to Moscow and the world famous Bolshoi. A parachute jump was also crossed-off the list some time ago. Okay, so i needed a medical where they did everything except shine a torch up my rectum, but it was a price worth paying and in a rather perverse way i almost enjoyed it... As for the parachute jump, well, lets just say it's not the first time i've been suspended in a harness, and i'm hoping it won't be the last. Ooh Matron!!

If you've been paying attention earlier [ if not - why not? ] you'll know i have my Saga holiday to New York lined up immediately after Christmas. It's a bit of a long shot, but the possibility of seeing Central Park in the snow has always captured my imagination ever since i was a wee slip of a lad. Also, visiting the very beautiful St. Petersburg and the Mariinski Theatre are other items that will hopefully get struck'un off the list in 2012 - fingers crossed. Admittedly, a costly exercise for someone on a meagre state pension and disability allowance, but as they always say ''you can't it with you'' which is technically correct, although Robert Maxwell had a damn good try.

The Church On Spilled Blood in St. Petersburg. Lovely! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always, at the end of each blog i dispense pearls of wisdom to you all in the form of my much sought after: 'wise words'. Keeping with the current theme, i leave you with this nugget of wisdom.

''NOW is the best time to be alive - so don't be bored''

Sexy Grannies And MP's Who Take The Biscuit.

It would seem that British politicians still have little or no will-power when it comes to leaching off the public purse.

The rather large breasted Baroness Warsi has now been accused of fiddling her housing expenses. She calls it, ''an oversight'', but we all know that's just politician speak for; ''oh sht, i've been caught stealing, i'll quickly put it back and we'll forget all about it''.

Anyone else would get the book thrown at them, she'll probably get a promotion and new ministerial car. Yes, in 2012 the Westminster Gravy Train is still working at full throttle.

It's been said the only person ever to enter the Houses of Parliament with honourable intentions was Guy Fawkes. How true. toot! toot!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday night was Eurovision Night. And like the other 148 million people, i too tuned in to watch - with a chicken curry from the local Chinese takeaway perched on my lap! Being an ex-services man i was obviously rooting for the young lad Engelbert Humperdunk, but also keeping an eye on those sexy little grannies from Russia. Buranovskiye Babushki were so good, they were able to perform their song AND bake some biscuit's at the same time. Now they are what i call 'real women.'   

For me, it's been a hectic week or two. Maybe i should start calling myself Hectic Heckles instead of Herbert?  It's only been a few days since returning from my trip to Moscow, or 'Mockba', as us locals might say. It was blisteringly hot whilst there, which meant me stripping down to my socks/sandals and placing an old knotted hanky on the head.

You'll be pleased to know that all the main sights were covered, even for an old man with a war wound. The only problem i found was the 5* hotel was so luxurious i didn't want to leave it and go sightseeing. It was VERY nice. Piano being played in the bar, 24hr room service, spa and even a little chocolate placed on the bedside table upon a weary guests' return in the evening!!! 

The Bolshoi.

The plan was to spend an evening of culture and refinement at the world famous Bolshoi Theatre, but this didn't happen. No, ........ i spent two evenings of culture and refinement at The Bolshoi. And bloody nice it was too! I also managed a trip to another theatre just up the street to see a show. And that too was a grande affair.

The Mariinsky.

The only problem is -  now i'm two minds whether to go back again or visit St Petersburg and the equally world famous Mariinsky Theatre?? It all comes at a price though. Maybe i'll just fiddle my housing/disability benefit and pension? If i get caught out i can just say it was ''an oversight''. It seems to work for everyone else.